question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
