Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
