You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
