I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
