a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
