Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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