I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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