Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
