That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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