The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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