a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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