i just wanna soil my oats bro
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
