I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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