I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
