just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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