Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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