I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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