nut hugger
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
