I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
