worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
