Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
