I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
