This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
