i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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