new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
