At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
