Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
