She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
