Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
