I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
