I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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