Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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