a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
North Korea, Best Korea!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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