for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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