Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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