Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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