Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook