One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
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just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner