Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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  (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5
  Replies (56) Good night (4010) Bad night (681)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you had sex with my brother?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

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  (520): So you had sex with my brother? (1-520): It sounds like you dont need me to answer that. http://tfl.nu/xsv7
  Replies (8) Good night (5790) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go

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  (410): There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go http://tfl.nu/lquj
  Replies (1) Good night (2463) Bad night (795)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4486) Bad night (1350)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  (316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7
  Replies (21) Good night (990) Bad night (2195)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1382) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1216) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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  (647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (771)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.

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  (240): Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum. http://tfl.nu/4chd
  Replies (12) Good night (568) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD

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  (360): Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD http://tfl.nu/j288
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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  (954): I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else http://tfl.nu/v2q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.

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  (302): I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts. http://tfl.nu/roj7
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (124)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to

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  (613): I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to http://tfl.nu/enqj
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (107)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu

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  (774): I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu http://tfl.nu/fa6n
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (140)

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