This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.