TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.