3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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