Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

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(585): Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58? http://tfl.nu/d4gh

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(661): View more from California

how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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(661): how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/fdur

Replies (45) Good night (736) Bad night (3624) Order T-Shirt
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(952): View more from Minnesota

well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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(952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2

Replies (14) Good night (5416) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

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(607): I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked. http://tfl.nu/x6mr

Replies (14) Good night (3367) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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(636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw

Replies (17) Good night (4961) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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(832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao

Replies (9) Good night (3674) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.

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(931): I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s. http://tfl.nu/244n

Replies (12) Good night (2835) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (805) Bad night (1582)
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(707): View more from California

At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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(707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp

Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

(507): View more from Minnesota

.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

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(315): The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar..... (507): .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls.... http://tfl.nu/yj71

Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (451)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

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(519): Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out http://tfl.nu/ezsq

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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.

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(303): Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place. http://tfl.nu/duki

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(713): View more from Texas

I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

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(713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf

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(309): View more from Illinois

well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly

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(309): well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly http://tfl.nu/pg5j

Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (311)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.

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(303): Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now. http://tfl.nu/crnu

Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt

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