You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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