How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.