you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize