It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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