I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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