this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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