Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
