so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
