So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
