my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize