No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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