i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
