whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize