Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
