You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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