So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
