honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
