Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
