Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
