I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
