:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You smell like stripper and shame
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
