I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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