You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
