Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
