How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
